Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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