You really coming over, don't trick.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
