yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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