Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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