yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
