If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize