If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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