she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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