Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize