Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He felt like a one man threesome
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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