would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
