Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize