i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
