my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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