please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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