what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
