is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
