I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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