I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
