Hey man sorry I got all grabby
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
