So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I need to stop coming to work sober
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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