the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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