try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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