white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
