Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
