hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
