I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
