Nicole vs. Life
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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