Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
