Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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