you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
