Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
