Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
