You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
