Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Are we still banned from the library?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
