Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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