its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
