these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
