There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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