Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize