She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
