Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
this hospital has no fireball
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
