what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
