I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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