He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Randomize
