he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
