i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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