How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I deserve this hangover.
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