She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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