The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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