Little spoons don't ask big questions
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
