i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
