I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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