After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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