jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize