so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
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