So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
