Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
