hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize
