To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize