You work out of a Hotel?
Nicole vs. Life
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
