I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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