Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
