i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
