No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
