remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
