That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize