P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
