i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize