Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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