I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
