the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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