i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
